Because nothing terrifies bad guys like the sexy librarian look.

A couple new reviews this week, after spending a long time away from everything due to revisions on the novel. My take on the pseudo-documentary about gangsters, Gomorrah, is up at E! Online. And my recap/review of “Dollhouse,” Joss Whedon’s latest adventure into the world of hot chicks and sci-fi is up at HitFix, a new entertainment Web site you should add to your bookmarks.

That’s all for now. Carry on.

My review of Kevin Smith’s latest movie is up at E! Online:

Review in a Hurry: Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks star as friends facing eviction from their crappy apartment who decide to make a porno to pay their bills. While not exactly deep, writer-director Kevin Smith turns this strangely sentimental sex-for-money tale into his funniest movie in years.

You can find my older reviews, and what other people thought about the movie, at RottenTomatoes.com.

My review of Changeling, starring Angelina Jolie, is up at E! Online.

Review in a Hurry: A gut-churning true story—about a missing boy and a look-alike runaway forced on his mother by police—is rendered flat by Angelina Jolie‘s sedated performance and an unfocused script from J. Michael Straczynski.

As always, you can find my older reviews at RottenTomatoes.com.

And at no extra charge, here’s a rant:

This is something not really germane to the review, but it was distracting throughout the movie, nonetheless: someone really needs to feed Angelina Jolie. Seriously. She’s starting to resemble the starving kids in those nations where she’s always adopting new family members.

There’s a scene in Changeling where Jolie is strip-searched and hosed off. This would no doubt make the Mr. Skin fans out there happy, except it only reveals how wasted she’s become. You can see the curve of her ribcage under her shoulder blades. If the camera adds twenty pounds, then she appears to weigh about twenty pounds.

I know the pressure on women is insane here in Los Angeles. Even a normal, non-obese woman will look heavy compared to most of the X-ray specks walking the streets. For a woman in the industry, it must be close to torture. Women in their 30s compete for roles with teenagers. They have to burn themselves down to the bare wires just to keep working.

So you get women onscreen looking like stick figures with cheekbones and fake breasts. And nobody can say “enough” because the parts will still go to the skinniest bitch in the room.

This distortion of the human body has to take a toll, however. Not just on the women who have to subsist on Tic-Tacs and wheatgrass juice, but also on the women who see them onscreen, and judge themselves against this punishing standard.

It’s actually become frightening to watch, and it needs to end.

There’s a reason the behind-the-scenes story is behind the scenes: sometimes, it’s not very entertaining. My review of What Just Happened, a bad script directed and acted by great talent, is up at E! Online:

In Hollywood, where you stand in the Vanity Fair photo shoot is a big deal, but aside from a crowd that could fill a screening room, not many people will find these paper cuts to the ego compelling. For real satire, rent The Player or the TV series Action!

Other reviews and my older pieces available at RottenTomatoes.com.

My review of Oliver Stone’s biopic about George W. Bush is up at E! Online. And despite my credentials as a charter member of the deranged liberal club, I thought the movie was a pointless waste of time.

Review in a Hurry: Director Oliver Stone has a no-win proposition with this CliffsNotes life story of our 43rd president. If he doesn’t make Dubya look like John Wayne and Jesus combined, the right will go nuts. If he shows any sympathy for Bush, the left will go nuts. But whatever your political bent, we can all come together as Americans and agree on one thing: The movie just isn’t very good.

And as always, you can find my older reviews at RottenTomatoes.com.