If you only look at the world through the windows of the Internet and 24-7 news, you’ll spend a lot of time in a hateful, sad place. (Yes, I am aware of the irony of blogging this.) So I’ve been trying to limit my screen exposure lately, just like I do for my daughters.
But occasionally, I can’t avoid the TV at my gym, or I get sucked into the latest atrocity via my newsreader feed. And then I feel a raging fury dwelling within me, and I usually spend a lot of time rethinking the merits of the death penalty.
This is what set the Hulk-O-Meter off this morning:
An 18-month-old toddler was ejected from an SUV after it rolled during a police chase. Her father — and I’m using the word in the loosest, biological sense of the term — allegedly stole a girl’s purse, and then took off. The toddler was flung from the vehicle when it rolled, and then — taking her tiny, hesitant, toddler steps — chased after the SUV when it started to leave without her.
I swear to God, I see murder flash before my eyes when I think about that.
I think about my own daughters and the looks of bewilderment and betrayal on their faces when I do something that hurts or disappoints them. I think of the trust they extend to me without thinking, without hesitation. They have faith in me, because they are supposed to have someone they can count on, completely and absolutely. And that is the way it is supposed to be. Parents are supposed to be the first response and last line of defense for their children. We may not be perfect, we might occasionally lose our tempers or fail to buy the present or the ice cream cone, but we are supposed to be worthy of that trust.
And that is why, even after she’s been dumped from a rolling vehicle by the one man she should be able to trust with her life, the little girl gets up and runs after him.
That level of betrayal — that sort of stupid, thoughtless, and selfish variety of evil — makes my hands shake.
I realize there is very little that’s ironic or smart or original in this sentiment. (The snarky Internet commenter who lives in my head comes out and says, in a Comic Book Guy voice, “Oh, he’s against child abuse, how bold.”)
This is another reason I’ve passed by so many of the daily outrages lately. There are plenty of people willing to condemn and to comment, and I don’t need to add to the chorus. I may not be the Christian I once was, but I try to remember that everyone faces a hard struggle, and the greatest challenge there is in these times is to be kind.
But this is just too goddamned much. This is exactly the kind of behavior that should be met with all the outrage we manufacture for things like the plot holes in Prometheus, or the latest political circle-jerk, or, as I saw when I left the locker room, Kelly Ripa shrieking about cleanliness in ladies’ rooms.
So yeah. Hulk smash.
“And, I would say this to Marcelas Owens: ‘Well, your mom would still have died, because Obamacare doesn’t kick in until 2014.'”
You’re all heart, Rush. No wait, not all heart… Pure asshole. That’s it.
I’m sure it was hilarious in context.
I’m sure it was hilarious in context.
And some good things, to wash the taste of that stuff out of your brain:
Freakangels is pretty great today.
Now this is a new one, at least to me:
How are you doing today? I am Williams Barnes, a US Marine currently serving in Iraq. I am actually one of the few Marines remaining in Iraq. We are waiting for executive order for our next deployment to Afghanistan this new year. I got your email from a business directory and I believe that you will maintain the level of confidence and trust that this mission I am about to inform you of require. Several months ago, my unit discovered some abandoned cash in the mansion of a militant ruler during a covert military raid. The total cash we discovered was $11.5 Million USD. We stashed all the funds in one trunk box and moved it secretly out of Iraq to Kuwait for safekeeping. We waited for several months to ensure that nobody is on our trail. Now, we need to move the money out of Kuwait. I am contacting you because we need your assistance in receiving the box for us on our behalf, and securing the cash until we return home from service. …
A scam that plays on people’s patriotism and greed at the same time. Capitalism breeding innovation, right there.
It’s all fun and games until someone gets bitten on the neck.
In totally unrelated news, sales of stakes and garlic have spiked this holiday season…
And then something comes along and cock-slaps the hell out of that quaint little notion.
Last night, Fox debuted a new game show called “Hole in the Wall.” The entire point of the game — stay with me here — is to get through a hole in the wall.
I won’t deny it’s funny to see the terminally clueless smacked around by a giant slab of styrofoam. But there’s a reason Darwin titled his book “The Descent of Man,” and this show is Exhibit A.
Next season: “Getting Hit In The Head By A Hammer!” We’re getting closer to the “Ouch, My Balls!” channel every day.
And if, two years from now, you find yourself wondering how we ended up in a war with Belgium and why President Palin hasn’t come out of her bunker since solving the federal deficit by printing more money… it’s because this show was a hit, and everyone who watched it voted.