I am a terrible salesman. I bombed out of telemarketing jobs in high school, could not move a single chocolate bar for band fundraisers, and always had a huge pile of unsold Scout-O-Rama tickets every year. Alec Baldwin’s character in Glengarry Glen Ross would probably have me taken out back and shot.
If you’re reading this site, you’re probably already a fan of the adventures of Cade and Barrows, and you’ve probably already bought RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD — now available in the UK as well. If not, I’m not going to try to convince you. (I think you’d enjoy it. Of course, I would say that.)
But if you’re here, and you are looking for something to read, I can offer you some other suggestions as well. Some of these people are friends of mine. Others I just admire. Either way, I get nothing but warm feelings from these recommendations, so you can be sure I’m not pushing them on you out of any kind of profit motive.
OVERSEAS by my friend Beatriz Chantrill Williams, on sale now. Time travel and romance and Wall Street, with plenty of war for the guys. You should pick this up before the inevitable movie with Brad and Angelina. Then you can say you were ahead of the curve.
THE GONE-AWAY WORLD by Nick Harkaway. It took me a long time to get to this one, and now I’m feeling like an idiot for stalling. It’s a remarkable book. I honestly considered reading it to people on my book tour instead of my own work.
WYNONNA EARP: THE YETI WARS by my pal Beau Smith. If you’ve already read my work, you’ll know why I love this graphic novel. It’s got Bigfoots vs. Yetis, the paranormal crimes division of the Marshals Service, and vampires, all mixed up in a blender of violence and humor.
LIMINAL STATES by Zack Parsons. Another wholly remarkable book, which spans decades and genres as it tells the story of two men in the Old West who discover a way to live forever, and the hate that binds them, and the terrible price they impose on the world for their existence.
THE APOCALYPSE CODEX by Charles Stross. Really, everything by Stross is worth reading. He’s an incredibly smart writer who has the gift of seeing his fictional worlds all the way to the end of the tunnel, no matter what’s coming from the other side. But this is another one of the Laundry Files novels, and as such, I’ve pre-ordered it without so much as a peek inside. Imagine saving the world from the Forces of Darkness were up to a bunch of overworked and underpaid bureaucrats, who are forced to deal with mind-eating terror but also get their expense reports done on time. It’s funny and dark and amazing.
CHEW by John Layman and Rob Guillory. My current favorite comic book out there, in convenient bite-sized package form. I’ve sung the praises of this before, but it just keeps getting better. Briefly, Tony Chu is a cibopath — someone who gets psychic impressions from whatever he eats. And he’s also a federal agent thrust into one disgusting, insane, and deadly situation after the next, where often the only answer is to be found by taking a bite of something really awful. Start at the beginning. You won’t regret it.
Despite the best efforts of a mutant virus and Alaska Airlines, I have returned home. For those of you not following the updates on Twitter, I was forced to cancel my book tour halfway through due to my intestines leaping up and trying to throttle my brain to death. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. In my adult life, I have walked off car accidents, pneumonia, and alcohol poisoning. If I could have done the same this time, I would have. But this was as sick as I have ever been.
So I want to apologize to everyone who came out and found a CANCELLED sign where they should have seen my smiling face. And I want to apologize to the great people at Tattered Cover, Barnes & Noble Boise, Third Place Books, and Mysterious Galaxy San Diego. I hope there’s some way I can make it up to you in the future.
For those people I did get to see at Mysterious Galaxy Redondo Beach, Murder By The Book, Borderlands, Poisoned Pen, and Powell’s, thank you again for coming out and for making the events so great. I enjoyed myself, and I hope everyone likes their hats.
Now, to answer the mail that’s been piling up on the virtual doorstep while I’ve been traveling, retching and recovering.
First, the Audible.com/iTunes edition of RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD. I’ve heard from a lot of people that they’d love to buy the audio version of the book, but they can’t find it. I’ve asked the publisher about this. Apparently, there was a glitch in the file sent to Audible.com, but the actual disks have been sent over now, and the audio version should be up in a week or so. My apologies for the delay.
And yes, this one will be narrated again by my pal, the inimitable Bronson Pinchot, who has gone viral in his own way. He’s now the subject of his own video game, as well as the star of his reality series on DIY. You should really check both of those things out.
Next, the hats. I’ve gotten everyone’s photos and addresses, and I’m working on getting them in the mail. They should go out in a week or so as well. I’ll make an announcement once they’re off. Thanks for all the great pics.
And finally, thanks. Thanks to everyone who’s bought the book and recommended it. It’s been a great first week of sales, and I am truly lucky to have so many great readers. I’m even luckier that there are more of you every day.
People have been wishing me “Happy Release Day” all morning. Although that might sound like a special form of massage or what you hear when you get out of prison, it actually means that today is the day you can buy RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD at your friendly neighborhood bookseller.
So if you’ve been coming to this blog and somehow missed my relentless self-promotion, here’s a little more.
- My old paper, Boise Weekly, has a very flattering profile by Josh Gross, that answers some questions about Cade and the twisted pathways in what I laughingly refer to as my writing process.
- Carol Thomas at the Examiner has a great review of the book, if you need more convincing to read it.
And thank you all, once again, for supporting and reading my weird books. I really do appreciate it.
More good news and reviews for RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD:
- Stefan Blitz at the indispensable site Forces of Geek was kind enough to interview me about the new book and Cade’s whole twisted history. Check it out here. And thanks, Stefan.
- Great reviews for the book from Jenn at Jenn’s Bookshelves and Caleb at Luxury Reading. Many thanks to them both.
- My first “Parents’ Brains” postcard arrived. Love it. Remember, if you want a free CADE 2012 baseball cap, details are here.
This is the big week. RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD hits stands on THURSDAY, APRIL 26, and I’m going to be stalking bookstores all over the nation to sign copies and harass passers-by. If, somehow, you’ve missed any of my self-promotion so far, this is your chance to catch up.
First, you can read the first chapter of RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD right here. Or check out this deleted scene from the book.
You can read the review from Publishers Weekly:
High-octane supernatural thriller… Farnsworth keeps the twists and explosive violence coming, keeping readers in suspense until the very last page.
Or you can take the word of the Vampire Queen herself, Charlaine Harris:
Farnsworth’s strongest book yet in the Nathaniel Cade series… I’m envious. Cade continues to be one of modern literature’s most frightening vampires, and this is an excellent read.
Want to know more about the campaign trail and the bloody murders leading up to RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD? Check out this detailed map of all the vampire mayhem.
Looking for a place to buy the book? We’ve got you covered.
And if you do buy the book, you can get a free CADE 2012 hat by entering the RED, WHITE, AND BLOOD giveaway. Details and rules right here.