But which end-of-the-world scenario is right for you? It might seem like tidying up before the zombies arrive, but the kids over at Sadly, No! remind us that there are many options to choose from, including The Omega Man, Mad Max, and Escape From New York.
However, those are just a few options. There’s the 28 Days Later future scenario, The Mist, the Dawn of the Dead, both classic and modern, 12 Monkeys, Children of Men, and I Am Legend for you Will Smith fans.
It might be a good idea to rent all these movies this weekend — while we still have electricity and before we break up our DVD players to use as fuel and weapons — and review your options.
The Sadly, No! folks also remind us:
Before any of you suggest The Postman: don’t.
It’s a matter of personal taste, but let’s not forget there are standards, even in the face of Armageddon.
(Crossposted at Examiner.com)
Fitting that on Sunday, here’s an angry, obscene sermon from an unnamed Democratic lawmaker — one I totally agree with.
Paulsen and congressional Republicans, or the few that will actually vote for this (most will be unwilling to take responsibility for the consequences of their policies), have said that there can’t be any “add ons,” or addition provisions. Fuck that. I don’t really want to trigger a world wide depression (that’s not hyperbole, that’s a distinct possibility), but I’m not voting for a blank check for $700 billion for those mother fuckers…
I’m open to other ideas, and I am looking for volunteers who want to hold the sons of bitches so I can beat the crap out of them.
Like I said, obscene. But then, so are multi-million dollar golden parachutes for people who drove their companies into the ground. And so is paying nearly a trillion dollars to bail out a bunch of rich guys while leaving the rest of the country deeper in debt.
And then something comes along and cock-slaps the hell out of that quaint little notion.
Last night, Fox debuted a new game show called “Hole in the Wall.” The entire point of the game — stay with me here — is to get through a hole in the wall.
I won’t deny it’s funny to see the terminally clueless smacked around by a giant slab of styrofoam. But there’s a reason Darwin titled his book “The Descent of Man,” and this show is Exhibit A.
Next season: “Getting Hit In The Head By A Hammer!” We’re getting closer to the “Ouch, My Balls!” channel every day.
And if, two years from now, you find yourself wondering how we ended up in a war with Belgium and why President Palin hasn’t come out of her bunker since solving the federal deficit by printing more money… it’s because this show was a hit, and everyone who watched it voted.
Great news this week for fans of the Apocalypse.
First, my old favorite, Peak Oil, throws a little more evidence our way:
Russian oil production has peaked and may never return to current levels, one of the country’s top energy executives has warned, fuelling concerns that the world’s biggest oil producers cannot keep up with rampant Asian demand.
The warning helped on Tuesday to push crude oil prices to a fresh all-time high above $112 a barrel, threatening to stoke inflation in many countries.
But wait, we have a new contender. There’s also a chance that the whole planet will disappear into a man-made black hole:
Today we require more than prayers that a scientific experiment will not lead to the end of the world. We demand hard-headed calculations. But whom can we trust to do them?
That question has been raised by the impending startup of the Large Hadron Collider. It starts smashing protons together this summer at the European Center for Nuclear Research, or Cern, outside Geneva, in hopes of grabbing a piece of the primordial fire, forces and particles that may have existed a trillionth of a second after the Big Bang.
Then, there’s the somewhat old-fashioned fear that California is going to break off and sink into the ocean.
Southern California stands a much greater chance of a huge temblor in the next 30 years than Northern California, according to a statewide earthquake forecast released Monday.
The report, which brought together experts from the U.S. Geological Survey, USC’s Southern California Earthquake Center and the State Geological Survey, also found that California is virtually certain to experience at least one major temblor by 2028.
You have to admit, option number two is definitely the coolest. Like Patton Oswalt once said, imagine the bragging rights in the afterlife:
“Hey, how did you die?”
“Me? Oh, some scientist built a machine THAT ATE THE WHOLE PLANET.”
Yeah. Top that.
How are we screwed? Radar counts the ways, with this handy-dandy list of end-of-the-world scenarios. My favorite apocalypse, Peak Oil, is included, but there’s something for everyone: Beepocalypse, Flupoaclypse, Volcanopocalypse, and Mayapocalypse are all there, too.
However, I don’t see anything about zombies, which seems to me a glaring omission.